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Post by Mira on Sept 1, 2013 13:35:15 GMT -5
Any fanfiction you want to share, share it here!
Make sure to put proper triggers!
- Mira
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Tateyama Ayano
New Member
I'm only here to break, break your, break your heart
Posts: 5 
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Post by Tateyama Ayano on Sept 4, 2013 10:15:13 GMT -5
Ok, let me be the first one to post a fanfic.
Title: In which I run over all your feels with a truck because this fandom needs more Kisaragi siblings interacting with each other
Warnings: it's sad, probably OOC, has mentions of death, suicide, and some things are not canon.
Notes:
I wrote this in 2 days (Monday & Tuesday). This was a product of boredom at school.
It's loosely based on this post and LTM (Route XX to be precise).I wrote this because I wanted more Kisaragi sibling fluff. Instead I got Kisaragi sibling angst. Well, then.Honestly he had given up life a long time ago.
But that was only, and ONLY, if he had to be really, REALLY honest.
He didn't care for it at all any more.
Kisaragi Shintarou HAD thought about taking his own life, but eventually didn't.
There was only 1 single reason he didn't.
His younger sister.
Now some of you may wonder what Momo had to do with all of this.
If you were Ene, you were probably thinking that he was a pervert. (Which he was NOT! Well… Not like THAT at least… Come one, even HE had his standards and that would be just gross...)
The reason that it was Momo of all people that kept Shintarou from taking his life was pretty simple.
He didn't want to disappoint her.
He had already disappointed every other girl he had ever met, so he wanted to do it right just this once and be a good big brother.
OF COURSE he should've known that he would fail.
He was Kisaragi Shintarou!
Nothing could ever go right for him!
The turning point was when they had a fight.
Had it been a regular fight, there would be nothing wrong.
But this was everything BUT a regular fight.
It wasn't a big fight.
Or at least not in Momo's eyes.
In Shintarou's eyes, it was like his world imploded.
With one huge explosion, leaving behind nothing but the remains of a dead personality.
She had done that without noticing it, really.
It was just one little sentence that she had said that shattered his world.
Just three little words.
It was BECAUSE of those 3 life-changing words that Shintarou decided to end it all.
“If I can’t be a good big brother, then what AM I good for?”
“…master, what are you talking about?”
“Ah, it’s nothing, Ene. I'm just thinking out loud.”
“Well, stop it. You’re scaring me.”
“Well, you’re annoying and you also don’t stop THAT, do you?”
“M-master? I-is everything all right?”
“Do I LOOK all right to you?”
“Well, no. That’s why I'm asking in the first place… But if you have any kind of problems, I'm sure that Momo or I can help you!”
Ouch.
That one went straight through his heart.
And he snapped.
“…what did you say?”
Ene really SHOULD have noticed the menacing undertone in Shintarou's voice. (Or at least that was what he was trying to do… He wasn’t sure if it was working, but at this point he couldn't care less about it.)
“Master can be SO STUPID at times! I SAID that if you have any kind of problems, Momo and I can help you!”
She looked so happy.
So…
So annoying.
“Momo wouldn't do that, you stupid thing.”
“Eh? What do you mean, master?”
“Oh, shut up. You wouldn't understand it anyway.”
“Master, just WHAT in the world are you talking about? Are you being stupid again?”
He couldn't stand it any more.
It had been one year since Ene had come into his life.
One whole year.
And in that year, all she had done was degrade him and annoy him.
And she wasn't even REAL!
If she WAS real, maybe he would have put up with her. Maybe even for the rest of his life.
But she wasn't real and he was kind of, sort of, planning to kill himself. And he knew, just KNEW, that she’d try to stop him if she’d find out.
And he definitely couldn't have that.
He was a perfectionist, so if he were going to do this, he was going to it right.
“Master? Are you all right? You've been awfully quiet for a while now…”
“…hey, Ene. Do you want to know what I REALLY think of you?”
If Ene had actually paid attention to his voice, she would have known that she was in big, BIG trouble.
“Eh, sure? But I think I already know it! Master thinks I'm annoying, right?”
She was really TOO annoying.
Shintarou lifted his arms and reached towards Ene.
And that was the moment where it finally clicked with Ene.
And she looked absolutely terrified.
Shintarou didn’t expect to actually feel her skin.
He had expected for his hands to just hit the monitor, NOT to feel the warm skin of the virtual girl. (Honestly he was surprised her skin was WARM. Wasn’t it supposed to feel cold, because of her being a computer program…? How did she even HAVE a skin? Wait, she was a virtual girl. Why was he asking that question in the first place?)
He also didn’t expect to suddenly enter a blue room, which he guessed was cyberspace. (At first he thought it was the computer virus’ doing, but she looked almost as shocked as she was terrified. Shintarou guessed it was because he was there.)
Honestly, feeling her skin only made him kind of… happy, he thought?
He figured that now he finally got his one and only chance to FINALLY get rid of her!
So he pinched.
He pressed her throat shut without any expression on his face, because frankly, he couldn’t care less about the cyber girl.
If he DID care or if he had even bothered to look at Ene in the first place, he probably would've noticed her desperate expression.
The computer girl had already died once and she desperately didn’t want to die again, but…
But…
Those were the thoughts that passed her mind as Ene felt all life leaving her body for the second time.
And as her body slowly fell limp, her last thought was:
“Why?”
As soon as Ene died, Shintarou was back in his room again.
But he hadn't missed it.
Cyberspace had turned red the moment Ene died.
She really WAS a virus!
And he had gotten rid of her!
He couldn't be happier…!
Oh no.
Wait.
He could.
All of a sudden Shintarou remembered Momo's harsh words from the fight they had earlier.
“You know… I always wonder if the life of others would be better if I didn’t exist…”
He closed his eyes briefly before opening them again.
“Yeah, I think it would be better if I’d just… disappear… Everyone would be happier then…”
Shintarou had often had these thoughts before, but they were often dismissed by Ene or he just could not do it, because he kept thinking about Momo and stayed alive just so he could be there for her.
But now…
But now….
But now he didn’t care any more.
Momo didn’t seem like she could care less if he was dead or alive, so he could freely take his life without anyone interrupting him.
Especially since that pesky computer program wasn't there any more.
He thought about how exactly he wanted to do this, before he just grabbed a pair of scissors and sat down on his bed.
He closed his eyes to think it over one last time and remembered Momo's words again.
“I HATE YOU!”
It wasn't that he didn’t hate himself or that he didn’t think he was useless, but to hear the only person you’re staying alive for say that is a bit TOO much, even if you’re the brightest person on the planet.
Remembering those words again, Shintarou lifted the scissors with both of his hands and pointed them at his neck.
And as he stabbed himself, the last thought that passed his mind was:
“Momo, I'm sorry.”
Kisaragi Momo sighed.
Maybe she should just go and apologize to her brother.
She couldn’t even remember what the fight was about and she DID say some things she didn’t mean. (Come on, she was his sister. Of course she loved him, even IF he was like that! She just had a hard time showing him that she loved him…)
The idol went to Shintarou's room and knocked on the door.
“Hey, onii-chan? Can I come in? I… I kind of want to apologize for earlier today…”
When she received no response she tried calling again.
“Onii-chan?! Can you hear me?!”
No response was heard.
This time she tried yelling.
“ONII-CHAN! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! OPEN THE DOOR!”
Receiving yet again no response, she decided to see if his door was open with the mindset that he was listening to music and couldn’t hear her.
Luckily for Momo, Shintarou had forgotten to lock his door.
“Onii-chan! I've been calling you this whole time! I wanted to-AAAAAHH!!!"
It took the girl a while to realize that her older brother wasn't just sleeping in his bed.
She only noticed it when she saw all the blood coming from his neck, at which point she backed away and broke down crying.
“O-onii-chan? W-why did you?”
“I-is it just because we had that argument today?
“Is it because I said those words?”
“Hey, onii-chan…”
“I was lying when I said those words.”
“Y-you know that, right?”
“I-I was just angry!”
“I don’t hate you!”
“I don’t want you to die!”
“I don’t want you to commit suicide!”
“I'm sorry!”
“Onii-chan, please don’t go!”
“If you’re not here, then who’s going to argue with me?”
“Who’s going to awkwardly comfort me with horrible advice?”
“Who’s going to make fun of my bad grades and compare them to their perfect grades?”
“I can’t live without you, onii-chan!”
“Onii-chan, I love you!” |
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